Epiphanies: A Visual Perspective (Part I)

(based on images from the Richard Kostelanetz film)

The first order of the day involved roping in a runaway cow and leading it to slaughter.

Along a straight path, he somehow managed to wander in circles.

Second childhood begins when sexual innuendo gives way to cartoon imagery.

Once in a while, you might try saving the rubbish and tossing the trash can.

Sloth is hardly the deadly sin it is purported to be.

After surveying the multitude of options, the here and the now was, while not the best, certainly the most convenient.

He thought he was meting out the punishment, but found himself on the receiving end.

Newton was fortunate it wasn't a boulder.

It took but a mere twitch of the thumb to cause the stallion to surge ahead.

The level of amusement attained by stupidity rests on the degree of timing.

After looking up at the World Trade Center from below, she decided she wasn't prepared to peer down from atop it.

The subliminal advertising must have been working as it somehow persuaded him to relish a heinous tonic he initially abhorred.

New art forms need not have any objective other than to furrow one's eyebrows.

A snack is all the more pleasurable when snuck.

Upon realizing the power had gone out, he immediately looked for his ATM card.

She hoped her life's defining moment would be the next.

After enduring yet another equestrian event, they wondered if it might be more fun to watch the Dog Olympics.

In the midst of a heated domestic squabble, she found respite in the massacre of an innocent melon.

To his amazement, the bag really worked!

He found himself in the awkward position of having to smile politely and absurdly at the Grand Poobah society's silver anniversary soiree.

She had to focus hard on the fleeting moments of ecstasy despite her lover's valiant efforts.

It annoyed her to no end that she enjoyed watching American Football games for the very same reason her boyfriend enjoyed watching the Miss America pageant.

Nursery rhyme characters seem to have a propensity for harmless fun.

The pace at the office is always distasteful.

Alone by the fence, I think of tearing it down.

Just as he was about to surely die from the impact of his ten-storey leap, he wondered whether to lead with his left or right leg.

"I've had it up to my ear wax with you!!"

Looking through the Yellow Pages with a prospective partner can be a pleasant finger-seduction escapade.

Hoping to find an oil well, he drilled through his hardwood floor only to gush sawdust.

Violent behavior in adults is often thought to originate from similar displays meted out on food products during infancy.

The pleasures of imagined strangulation exceed that of the real thing.

Caught in the act of raping, he decided to pretend he was thieving.

She often fantasized about cultivating her own money tree plantation, given the ease of harvesting bumper cash crops at the onset of autumn.

The sense of superiority he felt upon seeing his name on the credits list was outweighed by the fact that the film was abysmally received by the audience.

Opening the door to the bathroom, he somehow found himself looking into the closet.

The only reason for his belief in reincarnation was his overwhelming desire to be reborn a virgin.

Before you fill your stomach, you have to fill your cheeks.

Watching Harry pound on the treadmill, one got the sense he was a lab rat for a higher intelligence.

No matter where you are in the world, a leopard suit will steal the spotlight.

It's woeful if nobody cares for you - perhaps more so if you care for nobody.

She looked beneath the veneer and beheld the promise of the veil.

Although the band's heavy metal music remained unchanged, it lost its following when it renamed itself "The Playful Pandas".

An "action dog sequence" is the crowning glory for any budding home-movie maker.

Mirages in a snowstorm look different from those in a desert.

The three-point shot is an odd way of getting even.

While bored at home, he often amused himself by scanning his roommate's belongings in the hope of discovering something juicy and scandalous.

Agonizingly, he couldn't penetrate beyond the shield of repression.

Leaning over, he asked the little old lady to "hold my gun, please".

"You're such a big strapping hunk now, Bobby -- I....I can't help but look at you in a completely different way than simply as Mildred's boy."

Transcendental surfing is the art of riding the airwaves.

His otherwise vegetarian diet was strategically balanced by adequate junk food intake.

Amateur kidnappers should practise their craft lest they hurt themselves.

Were Joe Namath the leading man, we would have been watching Saturday Fright Fever.

He charged ahead, swinging his sledgehammer in support of the Revolution -- and inadvertently ruptured a water pipe.

A Pine Cone Parts Production Plant is an essential ingredient in Disney's new venture: Yosemite Sam National Park -- "where nature is the theme".

It is always entertaining to dramatically demonstrate the Law of Entropy.

An effective way of maintaining your personal space in a crowded party is to ignore the usual halitosis-reduction regime before leaving home.

The sight of a woman sensuously peeling a banana seldom reminds men of their childhood circumcision ordeal.

Standing on a pier welcoming the sailors back, he suddenly began to feel seasick.

Nothing brightens up a dull outdoor laundry-hanging session than the momentary appearance of a flock of geese.

Life on Mars may be identical to that on Earth with the exception that everything will be red.

There is no such thing as "a bit of a mess".

The Taller the Tumblers, the Taller the Tumbler Tower, the Taller the Tumble Too.

One's idea of a Rollickin' Good Time certainly matures with the passage of adolescence.

A whole new class of rudeness is exemplified by the person in joint possession of the TV remote control and poor taste.

"Life is like the chocolate on a dry cupcake -- you never know if you're gonna get nothing".

Dancing alone in the dark invites fewest critics.

Little can rival the adrenaline rush that comes from riding in an ambulance with one's liver visibly being carefully cupped in another person's hands.

"Are you lost, perhaps? -- or simply in need of further mime instruction."

Seurat would have been thrilled to live in the digital world.

"I'm afraid Express Delivery is the only mailing option for our 'Box of Live Men' product," the salesperson curtly replied.

Gazing intently at his Halloween mask, he felt the surge of an unexpected identity crisis.

Having a stream of cars whiz by you is far more exciting while standing on the painted lane dividers than on the kerb.

Lines that reveal your age don't do so in the night.

Kids play hopscotch, adults simply step on others.

If spotlights hypnotize bullfrogs, will a strobe make them yodel?

Ticker tape parades aren't very celebrated events for city clean-up workers.

If the Queen weren't so silly, she wouldn't need God to save her.

Danger always seems imminent in a dark alley.

The tentative flicker of weak candlelight merely reflects the tension between the courting couple bathed in its warmth.

Her desire for total heroism was dampened by her participation as but one member of a championship relay race team.

Chess would be that much more satisfying if "retirement" from the game was not an option in order to be spared actually watching one's King being physically captured by another piece.

High-impact skating is a sport only for the well-padded.

Since opposites attract - therefore, a magnetic attraction must occur when one's outgoing positive vibes are interpreted as incoming negative vibes by the recipient.

Unfamiliar images are frequently reminiscent of scenes from Sesame Street.

Getting off-track is wise if a train is coming along -- unless it is a train-of-thought, of course!

Constantly kissing a smoker won't help her quit.

An Unidentified Flying Movie Special Effect is usually what it is.

An erroneous picture does more damage than those often maligned 1,000 words.

Foreign language signs in black-&-white often do no more than intimidate.

Hungrily wolfing down her hot dog, she was clearly in blissful ignorance of its true contents and manufacturing deceptions.

Dancing may be somewhat two-dimensional if you are a stick figure.

We all can imagine what an Octopussy might look like even if it doesn't exist.

Inverted family portraits are more difficult to capture because keeping a rowdy group of people still is more difficult while they are upside down.

Utterly bored by her boyfriend's displays of marksmanship, she wandered off to another attraction at the carnival.

Captivity finally afforded him the luxury of contemplation.

There are certain events that can happen only in the mind of Stanley Kubrick.

They would have ignored mother's warnings had it not been for her wagging finger.

He fancied he could tolerate the heat in the depths of hell, as long as it wasn't boring!

The kids felt their hearts beat with excitement as they boldly entered the East German High Jump Training Area.

Her fear of fire was traced to the time she inched her eye just a little too close.

Little did they know that the continuing visible evidence of their lusty romp in the abandoned bus was being monitored by an audience awestruck by their prowess.

Starlight StarBright - explode in the night for my sheer delight!

Disappointment set in when he realized that no matter how much he loved his pet dog, he couldn't bear to give it a big wet kiss.

Being responsible for a Rolls Royce without the redeeming benefit of ownership is an onerous burden.

If your life is but a blur, you must be living in California.

She considered it fortunate that, unlike the horses, she was able to get off the Merry-Go-Round.

Alas, a "Gourmet" Sausage is never to be.

Though on a quest for total peace, he quietly settled for a piece.

In the warmth of the church, all were chilled by the organ's soulful wail.

Not able to tolerate its challenging licorice flavor, the little brat dunked his ice-cream cone head first into the trash bin with merciless purpose.

In preparation for his journey, Mr. Pak took a long time to pack.

To meticulously sweep his circular-shaped room, he purchased a broomerang.

While not understanding why, she happily capitalized on her naturally and eternally bemused facial expression to garner attention.

Tisn't the sound of one hand clapping, but the noise for one head banging.

He chose the cello over the violin because he could dance with it.

The power of a feather lifts birds to the sky and your lover to a new high.

The picture might look more appealing if we could only see its frame.

Easing into the morning with a light leisurely breakfast, their serenity was rudely jolted by the

appearance of his mother in curlers and a green facial mud paste.

She couldn't believe that such putrid, soggy mush was once a head of lettuce.

He wasn't about to question his sense of optimism when the light at the end of the tunnel revealed a half-full glass of wine.

One of the finer things in life is dust.

To a vast majority of people, it doesn't matter if it's Greek or Chinese to them.

The key measure of ecstasy is not quality but quantity.

While robustly chopping firewood all day with his trusty axe, he could not rid himself of a bloodthirsty yearning in his taste buds.

In a frenzied demonstration of self-worth; he strapped on a pair of high heels and ran amok, triumphantly disrupting and scattering flocks of resting pigeons all over the park.